I Read The News Today, Oh Boy



If you look at the handwritten lyrics for John Lennon‘s song “A Day In The Life” below, there’s one thing that strikes me right away.  Not many corrections!
 
The lyrics, which are scribbled in black felt pen and blue ballpoint pen on two sides of a single piece of paper, are being auctioned at Sotheby’s in June.  The photo on the left looks like the earlier draft of the two sides.

According to the CBC website: “Signed by Lennon and including crossed out words, corrections and a few annotations in red ink, the paper once belonged to Mal Evans, the Beatles’ road manager.

“An unnamed collector purchased the lyrics at a Sotheby’s auction in London in 1992 and attempted to sell the page in a sealed-bid auction at Bonhams in New York in 2006. However, it failed to sell at that time.”

Now I don’t know if this first page was the first draft or the 10th, so that might impact on how little Lennon edited it.

When I’m writing lyrics, I quite often have several drafts.  One reason is practical:  it gets too messy the more I edit or change words and lines.  The other reason is that I like to have something to go back to if I feel like I’m off course.  Sometimes you realize your first version of something was the best.

One line that Lennon changes on the first page is from “And all the people turned away” to “A crowd of people stood and stared”.  It is referring to the previous lines “He blew his mind out in a car, he hadn’t noticed that the lights had changed”.  Changing the subsequent line to “a crowd of people stood and stared” is an interesting move because it more accurately reflects what human beings do when we see an accident.  Lennon’s first attempt with people turning away implies some kind of indifference, but that’s not really the normal human reaction.  He may have at first thought that it had more of an emotional impact, implying that no one cared, and then decided that standing and staring was actually an even colder reaction.


The other change is to the verse at the bottom of the page.  He was referring to a newspaper article about potholes in the line “Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire” when he went off in another direction in describing the size of the holes and how “although the holes were rather small, they had to count them all”.  At first his line was “they had to count them all, they counted every one”, but then he changed his mind and came up with something that sounds like a one-liner:  “they had to count them all, now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall”.  This leads to a different melodic line as well.  It’s hard to say if he had the melody in his head as he was coming up with that line change, but it was definitely a brilliant twist on the pattern of the rest of the verses.

On the other side of the paper, the lyrics are re-written with the new lines included.  However, one line is changed from “And though the people turned away” to “A crowd of people turned away”.  This reflects his earlier line change on the first side.  He couldn’t refer to “the people” turning away in the earlier line in the same way anymore.   He also took out the word “just” from “just having read the book” probably deciding it was unnecessary.  The only other edit is a word change from “very” to “rather” in the line “and though the holes were rather small”.  Rather tends to roll off the tongue better, and though it’s a small and almost imperceptible difference when it comes to the big picture, paying attention to little details is a sign of a dedicated writer.

It’s difficult to get inside another writer’s head and know what their thought process is, of course, but a person can almost imagine what he MIGHT have been thinking as he wrote his subsequent drafts and changed things around.  There’s an interesting discussion of A Day In The Life on the Guardian website, mostly around the question “What were the four thousand holes in Blackburn Lancashire?”  One writer, referring to how the 4000 holes relate to Albert Hall, says:

“Although the answers above offer an explanation for the origin of the 4,000 holes, none explains how this relates to the Albert Hall. I believe this to be the significant missing piece of this mystery into the workings of Lennon’s mind. Another popular cult belief is that a “hole” refers to a unit of decaying flesh as discussed in the “Tibetan Book of the Dead.” At the time, Lennon was influenced by Eastern Misticism and The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. The reference, so the cult belief goes, is that Lennon was poking fun at the wealthy folk who attended concerts at the Albert Hall (referring to them as “decaying flesh”).”

They could be right 🙂  The fact is that none of us really knows what was going on in Lennon’s head, but it’s a lot of fun trying to “Imagine”.

IJ

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The Verse’s Purpose


In a more recent article “Don’t Bore Us, Get To the Chorus“, we discussed the obvious importance of that part of a song. But while the chorus might be considered the “sexiest” or most pivotal part of the song…the verse is what really sets the chorus up to succeed. Behind every successful chorus is a strong verse 🙂

So it’s important to understand that the verse plays as crucial a role as the chorus, and that you need to pay a lot of attention to whether or not your verses are doing their job. If the chorus is the summation, the peak, if you will, of the song, the verses are the storytellers that help to make the chorus make sense. And when I say story, I don’t necessarily mean “once upon a time”. This is something that confuses a lot of people at first, because not all songs are little 3 minute stories in the traditional sense of the word. However, all songs need a beginning, a middle and an end. When you look at your verses from a lyrical standpoint, sometimes it’s a good idea to give a one-line summation of each one, just to see how they are adding up within the context of the song.



For instance, the first verse might be “I met him (her)”, the second “we had a great time” the third “something went wrong”. That’s just a very basic story line, but you get the idea. You can examine other songs that way to see how they work. I took a look at a couple of more recent pop/rock hits, for no particular reason and with no bias toward any, other than the fact that my guitar students have wanted to learn them. One of those was “Bubbly”, by Colbie Caillat. Now I wouldn’t exactly call the lyrics of that song brilliant or inspired, but they are kinda cute.

Bubbly is basically just a love/lust song, describing how he gives her “tinglies in a silly place” :-). So how do the verses stand up to the story test? The first verse starts with “I’ve been awake for awhile now”. The second describes being in bed and “the rain is falling on my window pane”. And the third verse begins with “I’ve been asleep for awhile now”. The rest of the song more or less describes how he makes her feel, especially the chorus. But the verses do meet the criteria of creating a beginning, a middle and an end. Waking up, fooling around, going back to sleep :-).

Another song is “Hey There Delilah” by the Plain White T’s. This song is almost written in the form of a letter, the first verse being a kind of “hey, how are you and how’s it going?”. “Hey there Delilah, what’s it like in New York City?”. The next verse is expressing the thought that one of these days things won’t be so hard and we’ll have a better life together. The last verse more or less says take care of yourself…something you might end a letter with. The chorus, interestingly, is just one line “Oh, it’s what you do to me.” repeated over and over…the melody is what makes that chorus stand out. It’s beautiful. So in this song, similarly to “Bubbly”, the verses are telling the story, the chorus is simply expressing or describing a feeling.

The third song I’ll look at is Taylor Swift‘s “Teardrops On My Guitar”. Again, this is a love song…this one about unrequited love. It sets up the story with the first line “Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won’t see”, and goes on to lament the fact that Drew has somebody else, but the singer is still pining for him. There’s continuity with the first line of the second verse, “Drew talks to me, I laugh because it’s so damn funny”. And the third verse begins “Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can’t breathe?”. In this particular song, the bridge carries on the story “So I drive home alone…”, and at the very end of the song, the last line is a repeat of the first line “Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won’t see”. This is a little songwriting trick that I’ve used myself before. I call it the 360, because the effect is to create a feeling of coming back to the beginning again, coming full circle. In a song like this about unrequited love, the feeling is never resolved, is it? So the effect of the 360 is that the story continues on indefinitely.

One very critical final point about the verse; the first verse, specifically. The first line has to draw the listener in, so in spite of all of the hullabaloo over the importance of the chorus, pay attention, very special attention, to your first line. Sometimes the chorus is sung first for a similar effect…to draw the listener in.

So far we’ve only discussed how verses can work best in a lyrical context. But what about the music? Usually there is a musical contrast between verse and chorus, and more often than not, the chorus melody lifts to some degree. I once heard someone say that the chorus always contains the highest note in the song 🙂 I can see why he’d say that because there is certainly is a feeling of a lot of choruses being at more of a fever pitch compared to the verses. Sometimes that is created just as much by the production than anything else; lots of background vocals coming in, maybe strings or other extra instruments being introduced, and the drummer riding the cymbals. This can give a sense of the chorus being louder and “higher”.

If you listen to the song I mentioned above, “Bubbly”…the melody of the chorus is not all that different from the verses, the notes are simply organized a little differently, they are shorter in length and the chords change more frequently. The melody in the chorus of each of the other songs definately lifts up to some degree.

“Teardrops On My Guitar” follows the classic contrast of a softer verse and more emotionally dominant chorus. The notes are longer in the verses, the melody is in the lower register, but there’s a kind of intimacy in the way it is sung that pulls you in. Verses do tend to be more low key (I don’t mean IN a lower key, I just mean softer), but if you make them too much so then you take the chance of losing a listener pretty quickly. Where else do you think the line “don’t bore us, get to the chorus” came from? 🙂 Songwriters often make the mistake of paying less attention to the verse melody and chord progression. But just as the verses need to drive the “story”, they also have to be compelling musically, enough so to keep those listener’s ears perked long enough to get to the chorus, if there is one. The performance, of course, also has an integral role. A lackluster vocal performance will make even the best melody a little mediocre. But I digress!

In “Hey There Delilah” the verse melody is again in a lower register, but the verses are more developed and much longer than the chorus. That’s because they are really doing the job of telling the story because the chorus has only that one emotional statement and that’s it..”Oh, it’s what you do to me.” You could write just about anything around a chorus like that. But it is made stronger by the verses, which do exactly the job they are meant to do, melodically and lyrically–to set the chorus up. Sometimes as you’re writing or re-writing a song, you realize that your verse melody seems to stand out more than your chorus. This is a good lesson…what do you do? One possibility is to switch them…make the verse melody the chorus and vice versa. Or you might want to find a new melody for the chorus altogether.

So now that we’ve examined the role of the verses more carefully, it’s time for you to go back through your songs and see how they measure up! It doesn’t mean you have to re-write anything that doesn’t work (although that’s certainly a good exercise!), but it will make you more aware of the function of the verse the next time you sit down to write a new tune. And remember, that sometimes things just work because they work, even if they break the so-called “rules”. Think of everything here simply as a guideline…but remember that sometimes it’s just as interesting to colour outside the line 🙂

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