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You Move Too Fast – Thoughts on Lower Speed Limits

I remember taking my driver’s test a few years back. Okay, more than a few years back. It was in downtown Vancouver in the middle of rush hour and I was nervous. But I was managing to follow the rules and doing okay.

That is, until my instructor/tester told me to make a left turn from a busy thoroughfare onto a side street. I signaled a left turn and stopped, watching the oncoming traffic and looking for a gap. I saw one and decided to make my move.

As I turned the car, I realized there was an old guy walking across that side street. Slowly. I had to stop for him just as a swarm of traffic was coming towards me. I sat there, blocking the oncoming cars, and nervously waited.

Let’s just say the old guy made it to the other side. Of the street, I mean. But me, I failed my driver’s test, though I eventually took it again, and passed.

When I moved to Victoria a couple of years later, life was literally at a different speed. There were a lot of older drivers on the roads who were definitely not in any hurry. But I realize in hindsight they were probably just going the speed limit, or close to it, and I wasn’t used to that.

However, the population of Victoria has boomed in the last couple of decades, as has the amount of traffic that goes along with it. Now we might as well be driving in Vancouver.

The introduction of bike lanes changed the dynamic even more. These days, we have signal lights for pedestrians, signals for cars and for bikes. It takes a little practice to know which one you need to be watching.

Am I in my car, on my bike, or walking? Give me a minute…

The street we live on, which was very quiet when we first moved here, now has heavy traffic every day, especially during rush hour. One of our neighbours actually complained to the city about it.

They put in “traffic calming” measures at one point. That term makes me laugh…you see a lot more enraged drivers when they have to slow down or stop for oncoming traffic because of a boulevard jutting out. Traffic calming my foot.

Now don’t get me wrong. As a pedestrian, I encounter many nice, polite drivers who give me the right of way, and I always smile and wave thank you. But all it takes is one miserable person behind the wheel to ruin my day. Or I’ve ruined his, I suppose.

I want to suggest that these speeders are all young, impatient males, but I’m often surprised to see how many of them are women. And sometimes even “older” women. Everyone’s in such a hurry.

Which brings me to the recent reduction in speed limits in Victoria and Saanich. As a driver, I really have to work at keeping my speed at or just above the maximum, and I do try. But sometimes I’m on automatic (little pun there) and forget how fast I’m going.

When I am keeping to the speed limit, it’s almost a guarantee that I will eventually encounter a tailgater hovering right up behind me. A couple of times I’ve pulled over just to let the idiot pass so I don’t have to worry about being rear ended.

But if I’m truthful, I’m probably guilty of tailgating others here and there too. You know. When I’m the “older” woman in a hurry.

I am generally in favour of the lower speed limits, even if a lot of people aren’t paying any attention to them. There are just too many traffic accidents these days, and pedestrians and cyclists getting hit and even killed. Enough of that!

We’ve all got to slow down. You move too fast. (That might give you “older” folks an earworm.)

IJ

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Congratulations Grads! 50 Years Will Fly By

I recently attended my 50th grad reunion (do me a favour and don’t do the math) and started thinking about all of this year’s young graduates going on to the next chapter of their lives. (You did the math, didn’t you…)

The reunion had a great turn out, with over 80 of us milling about trying to remember who the heck everyone else was. It’s funny how a face can change so much, but still hold some small, familiar quality. Thank goodness for name tags.

Speaking of which, I only wrote my first name on my name tag until someone pointed out that it wasn’t good enough. Duh. Old people need BOTH names to be able to remember. One of the organizers gave me another name tag with my full name. Only she spelled it “Jacksun”. Did someone miss English class?

We spent our time moving from one person to another, looking at each other and then down at our name tags, often gasping in delight at someone we suddenly recognized. It was great fun. We asked about each other’s lives, laughed at our ancient antics and cried for those we missed.

The conversation catch up included families, careers, moves from here to there. Retirement. Aches and pains. Some people talked too much, others not enough, just like in high school. I could see a lot of us moving into our familiar cliques. The sports people, the drama people. The nerds.

A very small group of our grads already had mobility or health issues, but I have to say we all looked pretty darn good for all that we’ve endured. And in 50 years, many of us have endured a lot.

I have to admit, I’ve attended every single grad reunion, but this was by far the most impressive. Not just because of the numbers, but because of the way we all understood the value of one another and appreciated each other in a way we haven’t before.

So what advice can I give all of you fresh-faced 2025 graduates holding your diplomas and wearing your graduation hats?

Well, first of all, your hat is called a mortarboard. I just learned that. So that’s lesson number one: you never stop learning! That’s why they call it “the school of life.”

Secondly, don’t lose touch with your friends. You’ll think to yourself that they’ll always be there. But stuff happens. Trust me.

And last but not least, one of the most important things in life is E.I. No, not employment insurance, although that might come in handy once or twice in your working life.

No, I’m talking about Emotional Intelligence. If you’re not quite sure what that is, emotional intelligence means understanding who you are, your emotions, and why you feel and act certain ways. Understanding yourself, and why you are who you are, may be the greatest lesson of all. There are books about it. If there’s a college or university or even a night school course including Emotional Intelligence as a subject, take it.

E.I. will carry you through the toughest times in your life. It will foster the good things in you: kindness, awareness, love and patience. Trust me on that one, too.

So to the Grads of ’25 from the Grad of ’75: You are brilliant. You’re going to do wonderful things and make this world a better place, I just know it.

Congratulations! Now don’t party TOO hard…

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The Christmas Candle – a tribute to our Christmas traditions

I’m pretty sure I was in Grade 1 or 2 that day my mother told me we were going to invite some of my friends over to bake gingerbread cookies for Christmas.

She’d found a recipe somewhere and thought it would be fun for us all to do some Christmas baking together. I was an only child, so the neighbourhood kids were my surrogate brothers and sisters as I was growing up. We did everything together.

We picked a day and my mother started the process of making the gingerbread dough. I remember being in the kitchen with my friends, giggling as we rolled out the dough and cut the cookies.

The really fun part was decorating them with silver balls for eyes and red and green crystals. And icing. Lots of icing. We used knives to spread it all around and toothpicks to tweak it.

I’m pretty sure we ate half of the cookies as we were decorating. We definitely licked a lot of icing.

Ever since that time, gingerbread has been a part of my Christmas, whether it’s cookies or gingerbread houses. Oh, I’ve tried other store-bought gingerbread, but nothing compares to the home made stuff. You know?

My mother was an artsy-craftsy type, so she was always creating something. One day she discovered a way to make a big square candle using a 1 liter milk container as a form, so she made a Christmas candle.

All too soon, when I wasn’t quite 15 years old, my mother died of cancer. Suddenly all of the things that she’d made with her own hands became really important to me.

I don’t know how, but I managed to keep that candle with me when I moved away from home at the age of 18. And through a half a dozen moves I made over the next few years, I hung on to it. The truth is that I’m still surprised that I managed not to lose it or forget it somewhere.

When my two daughters were little, we began the tradition of making gingerbread too. And as a way of remembering my mother and my first gingerbread baking session, I pulled out the old candle and lit it.

From then on, we lit that candle every year and put it on the table beside us as we listened to Christmas music and made our gingerbread cookies.

Eventually I realized that the candle was going to burn down completely if we kept burning it (duh), and we didn’t want that to happen! So I started putting a tea candle inside it and lit that instead. Which explains the picture you see here.

No, the candle doesn’t look like much anymore. It’s more than 50 years old! But it really means everything to my daughters and to me. Even though my girls never had the opportunity to meet their grandmother Fanny, it’s a way of having her with us every year as we do our baking. Just a simple little tradition.

There are all kinds of stories out there from people recounting their Christmas traditions, many of them quirky, funny, and almost always sentimental in some way.

Even when you’re going through the worst of times, if you can have that one little thing you do, it brings back the cozy warmth of a Christmas memory. There’s nothing like it.

So Merry Christmas. And may the memories of your Christmas traditions give you great joy and comfort this year.

IJ