The Mystery of the Missing Socks

Since December, I’ve decided to hang on to the single socks that come out of the dryer when I do a wash.  Like most of you, I am mystified as to where the other sock goes.  Is it not happy with its accommodations?  Perhaps it is tired of its twin and wants to try another pairing.  Or perhaps there is a sock stalker hiding out in the laundry room and the missing socks are being tortured somewhere or held for ransom.  Come to think of it, I’ve never received a ransom note.  And really, I’m not sure I’d be willing to pay ransom for one sock.  Especially if it’s been tortured.

I am not sure how long I will hang on to the eight remaining twins.  Yes, surprisingly, there are eight of them. I hate to hurt their feelings but I am soon going to run out of room in my sock drawer for them.  I suppose I could find something else for them to do.  They could become sock puppets, for instance.  But I personally have no need for sock puppets.  I found some other uses for single socks, such as using them for dusting or turning them into patchwork quilts or putting them OVER your shoes when working in the garden.  (I would be careful when recommending this to a single sock…they are used to being on the inside of a shoe where it might be smelly, but it’s clean.)  One person even suggested making a sock rose.  I’m thinking “sock rose” is an oxymoron.  And trying to use it as a Christmas stocking is just a turn off.  I’m sorry.

I decided to Google missing socks and found some interesting websites.  At the Where Socks Go blog, you can peruse the various sock photos in search of your missing sock, or you can upload your own photos.  There are some truly sad stories there.  There is the drain sock, for instance, which, for all we know, could actually be down the drain and into the sewer system by now.  What a way to go.  Apparently the owner of the website is finding a sock a week these days.  That translates into a lot of socks going missing, when you think of it.

One person has actually invented a missing sock bucket.  Whenever you come up with only one sock after doing your laundry, you throw it in the bucket until the other one shows up.   I think this person is seriously deluded.  They rarely, if ever, show up.

Companies dealing with this phenomenon are apparently springing up everywhere.  The United Socks of America, with their motto “Helping Socks Partner For Life” has developed the Lock ‘N Wash “a fastener that will ensure that socks remain connected at temperatures up to C-70degrees yet can be pulled apart, on stretch fabric, at room temperature, without damage to the sock material.”  I commend them for having the guts to do something about this widespread, and yet rarely discussed, issue.  Socks are going missing every day and it’s time we come out of the closet (surely, we won’t find them there) and begin a real dialogue.  For all we know, the socks may not WANT to be found, in which case we have a lot of soul searching to do, never mind the sock searching.

For now, I am trying to spread the word about my eight missing socks.  I have no pictures of them, but I do have their twins, so you can at least get an IDEA of what they look like.  Remember, not all twins are identical.  Please email if you spot one.  Thank you.

One thought on “The Mystery of the Missing Socks

  1. Just think. There has to be some alternate universe out there where the socks go. So instead of wondering about missing socks as we do, inhabitants of this universe wonder where all the extra socks come from.

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