Song Of The Month
July 2010 Winner
I’m a little late in getting this month’s winner up. Suffice it to say it’s summer and a new Mustang convertible is the culprit :-).
“Immovable” is a song by Amanda “Chessi” Keys originally of Tupelo, Mississippi. Here is Amanda’s bio:
“Amanda ‘Chessi’ Keys was born and raised in Tupelo, Mississippi. Though strongly influenced by music at a young age, participating in piano lessons, band, chorus, and church choirs, it wasn’t until her freshman year at college that Chessi’s true love for songwriting emerged. Inspired by the writing styles of Kenneth ‘Babyface’ Edmonds and Diane Warren, she began to experiment with lyric writing, basing her stories on experiences of her own as well as those of friends and family. A Computer Science major at the University of Mississippi, music as a career never came to mind until she stumbled upon an advertisement for Full Sail University. With the support of her family she moved to Winter Park, Florida in 2001, to study Recording Arts.
“In her songs, Chessi uses her musical background to form a raw blend of Gospel and Southern R&B. Listeners at garageband.com have described her music as magical and intriguing. Her writing encompasses the hopes, dreams, and melodramas we all go through in life; linking listeners with the common principles of love, peace, and happiness. Her musical accomplishments include rotation on WSRB (Orlando,FL), Atlanta Movement Radio, Maximum Reality Radio, and Soul Classics 24/7 Internet Radio Stations, Top 5 finalist for Best Vocalist of the month at SingerUniverse Magazine, and Track of the Day at GarageBand.com (August 2008 and May 2010).”
The Story Behind the Song:
“For the song Immovable, I was inspired by an independent film Mississippi Damned. The screenplay focuses on three youth from Mississippi who are trying to escape the cycle of abuse, poverty, and violence that plague their families. After reading the script, I wanted to create lyrics that not only expressed what each of the main characters were feeling but also allowed listeners with other problems that may not be so harsh connect to these characters. The song says that whatever the situation, if you are a victim to your circumstance and continue to submit to all the bad things that happened in your past, you can never be free. You become immovable. On a technical note, the music was created using FL Studio. The song was recorded in Mooreville, MS at Lakeland Music Group by James Simmons. It is available for download at Reverbnation.”
And without further ado, here is Amanda’s song “Immovable”:
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Immovable
You feel unprotected
Become so powerless
You run from your reflection
You don’t deserve happiness
You move in every direction
You’re so out of control
Trapped in your essence
Bound in your own soul
You’re running so fast
Until you run into your past
Avoiding yourself
Crashing into everyone else
Every door opens to the same drama
While you’re just waiting for your life to change
You remain
Immovable
You try to start over
Fantasize a different personality
But then your past creeps up on you
And defines your reality
Don’t be so impulsive
Don’t be afraid of your own thoughts
What you think is what you live
And you dwell in every thought
(Repeat Chorus 2x)
What you got to do
To face your defeat
The original you
Is yearning for liberty
Beyond the bad situations
Deep inside your aching soul
Are better circumstances
There is something beautiful
My Opinion
First of all, I think Chessi Keys is a talented singer and has obviously worked hard to develop her songwriting and vocal arrangements. The song “Immovable” reminds me a little of the R&B songs I listened in the 70’s, with a little splash of Tracy Chapman. I think she needs to get herself a producer who can create the musical elements underneath those wonderful vocals to really push this song to another level.
Lyrically, I have one quibble and that is with the images in the chorus of the person running, crashing, doors opening, and then the chorus being summed up with the phrase “you remain immovable”. They are conflicting visuals, but to fix them would create somewhat of a dilemma. The song is supposed to be about someone being stuck in their circumstances, which is represented by the title, so you don’t necessarily want to change that. And of course, Chessi doesn’t have to change anything! But this is what stood out for me.
I really like the meter, the vocals, the rhythmic sensibility and the emotional force behind this song.
Congratulations Amanda!
Now if any of you out there reading this would like to participate in the next Song of the Month, all you have to do is to send me your song via the Soundcloud box to the right of this blog, and then email me your lyrics. Closing date will be August 15th.
Good luck!
IJ
June 2010 Winner
It wasn’t easy choosing this month’s song…I was particularly torn between two very good songs in different styles; one being a pop ballad and the other a country/folk song. Part of my problem was that I was in a bit of a sentimental mood when I received both of these songs, having recently lost my cat. Now I know you probably think that’s a bit much, but I’m telling you, it felt just like losing a member of my family! So the two songs that kept tugging at me were Heaven Won’t Let Me Go by Jason Alcott and Open Your Eyes by John Taylor.
First, Jason’s song.
Jason says: “I live in White Rock, BC. I started my songwriting journey one year ago this month when I woke up in the middle of the night and realized that I wasn’t pursuing my dream. This last year has been a huge learning process including piano, voice, songwriting lessons, and countless hours behind a keyboard. ‘Heaven Won’t Let Me Go’ is a demo that I did to help familiarize myself with the recording process and also give people a taste of what I have been working on. I am really looking forward to this next year as I hope to record an EP with a full band if I find the right producer.
“The song is available as a free download along with one other demo, ‘Suddenly Falling’, on my website.”
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Heaven Won’t Let Me Go
Jason Alcott
Sometimes I’m right
But mostly I’m wrong
I push and I fight
Never end up alone
Heaven won’t let me go
Try as I might I feel them come close
The forces of darkness I’d rather not know
But heaven won’t let me go
Chorus:
It only matters what I give
What I get is out of control
And no matter what I say
I’ll never end up alone
End up alone
Cuz heaven won’t let me go
Coming to terms at the side of your bed
Searching for words that are better unsaid
Heaven won’t let me go
I’m righting the wrongs that you said I made
but on my way down still making mistakes
But heaven won’t let me go
Bridge:
And if this is where you leave me
Then I guess we’ve run our road
And the future won’t be perfect
So I hope you’re never alone….
My critique: the song is a simple and well-recorded (do I hear a bit of Autotune on the vocal?? 
) piece and Jason’s performance is definitely stirring. I would have liked to hear a little more variation in the melody at times. When you listen to a fairly simple melody, somewhere around the second verse it needs to go somewhere else, if only to stay clear of becoming too predictable, especially if the chorus and verses are similar. The lyrics are also fairly simple and leave some room for the listener to imprint their own experience, which is a good thing! I would work on creating more “visuals”; the old “show me, don’t tell me” idea, but these lyrics fit well in a pop category. Good job, Jason :-).
Now onto the second winner, “Open Your Eyes” by John Taylor.
John says: “Please let your followers know that yours’ was the first and foremost Songwriting Web Board I ever participated in (back in 2004) and l hope what I’ve learned from the many critiques offered from you and ‘the regulars’ back then is evident in the evolution of this ballad. This song started out as something I heard in my head thinking about The Beatles’ song ‘Golden Slumbers’. That’s where I stole the line ’smiles await you when you rise’ from (which in turn Paul McCartney took from the poem ‘Cradle Song’, a lullaby by the dramatist Thomas Dekker, so I don’t feel bad ’stealing’ it :-).
“I wrote the first verse and chorus back in the 1980’s (when I was a newlywed) and that’s all there was. It wasn’t until I had been participating on your Web Board that I was introduced to the idea of ‘rewriting’ songs (imagine, improving on ‘perfection’!) and adding ‘bridges’. So I revisited this song and wrote 2 more verses (having more life experiences to draw from) and the bridge - to which Frank Langton on your Web Board added the line ’so lucky to wake up next to you’ in his cover version (which rounded out the musical phrasing in a more fulfilling way). Years later I’m finally at the point of having demo’s produced and this one features Perry Miers and Barbara Cloyd (of ‘The Blue Bird Cafe’ fame) and I hope someone out there will enjoy listening to it.”
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Open Your Eyes
John Taylor
Sunlight
dances into the room
glowing softly through the linens
on the windows.
Captured in the brass
resting on your hair
Smiles await my darling
when you rise.
O, open your eyes / O, open your eyes
O, open your eyes / O, open your eyes for me.
Roses
on the nightstand by the bed
drop their petals along the border
of your pillow.
I touch them to your cheek
lay them on your hair.
A crown awaits my darling
when you rise.
O, open your eyes / O, open your eyes
O, open your eyes / O, open your eyes for me.
I whisper in your ear, “I love you”
then from the kitchen I bring toast and tea for two…
so lucky to wake up next to you.
Laughter
and tiny feet from down the hall
dive into the room
and underneath the covers.
Children by your side
playing with your hair
love awaits my darling
when you rise.
O, open your eyes / O, open your eyes
O, open your eyes / O, open your eyes for me.
And my critique: First of all, again, this is a lovely and simple performance of the song, so John picked a couple of great interpreters to perform it :-). Secondly, this is a wonderful example of a visual lyric. Each verse sets up a picture that expresses a sentiment without telling me what, as a listener, I should feel. The only small issue for me is that the chorus is a bit too repetitive…obviously the chorus is enforcing the title of the song, but I think it could have dared to put another rhyming phrase perhaps the third time, and then return to the original phrase. Just my opinion of course, and this song has obviously been hammered over many times to achieve its final state. I know that there comes a point when writing a song where you have to say to yourself “That’s it.” and be finished with it. It’s a beautiful song, very well-crafted, John.
Hopefully, those of you who are watching this page will have your own feedback. Please let me know what you think of these two songs, if you are so inclined! And, don’t forget, you can enter next months’ “Song Of The Month” simply by clicking on the Soundcloud box below and emailing your lyrics!
Send me your song!
Congratulations again to this month’s winners!
IJ
May 2010 Winner
As promised, here is more info on this month’s winner “So Damn Sad” by Steve Crabtree. Steve says that he started out as a drummer and turned to songwriting in the early ’80’s.
“I wanted an outlet for all the things I learned in college (UNT Denton), so I jumped into it - had to learn instruments and how to TRY and sing. Once I started, it was so cool to multi-track (then with 4-track analog tape) and have the song come out like I had it in my mind.
“I’m now back at it (with new gear, Juno-G and Logic Pro), so I can have the song, get fairly close since I do all the playing-singing, etc, and the gear offers up a much better quality. Anyway, I just recently got back with ASCAP (Good Times Three Music).”
The song itself is a country/rock blend, pretty well-produced, and though Steve’s voice gets a little strained at some of the higher notes, it’s a pretty strong song. Below are the lyrics, and you can listen as you read:
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“So Damn Sad” by Steve Crabtree, ASCAP (Good Times Three) 2010
The waitress smiled, Would you like one more?,
I said I’m done for the night,
She said she knew, I’d had quite a few,
I think that she was right
I wondered if she had someplace to be,
After this bar closed down,
There’s not much to do, ‘round here after two,
There’s no horse in this one-horse town
I’d like to say the heartache is over,
It’s all I’ve ever had . . .
CHORUS
I’m so . . . damn . . . sad,
And I feel . . . so . . . bad,
The lonely side of happiness is all I’ve ever had,
And I’m so . . . damn . . . sad
There’s a hole in the roof, and one in my shoe,
And another one in my heart,
I think about starting over with you,
But, I don’t know where to start
Don’t look for the silver-lining,
When the clouds are blown away,
No need to look for tomorrow,
When you’re stuck in yesterday
I’d like to say the heartache is over,
It’s all I’ve ever had . . .
CHORUS
I’m so . . . damn . . . sad,
And I feel . . . so . . . bad,
The lonely side of happiness is all I’ve ever had,
And I’m so . . . damn . . . sad
And I’m so . . . damn . . . sad
So damn sad,
So damn sad,
So damn sad . . .
You can also listen to more of Steve’s music and find out all about him at his Reverbnation website.
If you’d like to enter your song in June’s Song of the Month contest, read on:
Submit your song by sending it to me through Soundcloud…just click this button:
…and follow the easy steps to upload your song(s) for consideration. Please, only send 3 (three) songs per month and email your lyrics. The winner will be featured here with a short critique. The cut off date for June’s contest is June 14th, 2010.
Good luck!
IJ
